Best of 2005
Ok Go "A million ways video" www.okgo.net
Dream cream www.lush.com
Since u been gone www.itunes.com
Grey's Anatomy www.abc.com
Batman Begins www.bestbuy.com
Queen Bee wallets www.buyolympia.com
Coke zero www.coke.com
Sarah Crosland's single status and hilarious blogging sarahsthoughtsonline.blogspot.com
Time Out Chicago www.timeoutchicago.com
Where does the good go (Tegan and Sara) www.itunes.com
Hide and Seek (Imogen Heap) www.itunes.com
The Colbert Report www.comedycentral.com
Sawyer Gobias Meowsky www.anticrueltysociety.com
Innuendo's sophomore album "Second Base" (coming soon) groups.wfu.edu/innuendo
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Great Scott!
Here is a small tidbit from this morning's entertainment news cycle:
Michael J. Fox is heading Back To The Future for a fourth time-traveling movie. The actor, who suffers from Parkinson's disease, admits he's in negotiations for a final film in the series - but only if they make his character as old as he is in real life. The former Spin City star wants to take over Christopher Lloyd's eccentric scientist character, Doc, in the sequel. He tells movie website Moviehole.net, "The only way it would work would be if I played Doc. I'm 44-years-old now and I'm not interested in running around on skateboards! I think after 1, 2 and 3 we all kind of felt we had done it. And I think if they did it again now they would do it with a younger cast and just do a different realisation of it, which would be fun."
Woah. This is heavy.
Is this news:
a)The answer to 12 years of my girlish prayers
b)The most awful idea ever to be inflicted upon man kind.
I haven't decided yet.
Michael J. Fox is heading Back To The Future for a fourth time-traveling movie. The actor, who suffers from Parkinson's disease, admits he's in negotiations for a final film in the series - but only if they make his character as old as he is in real life. The former Spin City star wants to take over Christopher Lloyd's eccentric scientist character, Doc, in the sequel. He tells movie website Moviehole.net, "The only way it would work would be if I played Doc. I'm 44-years-old now and I'm not interested in running around on skateboards! I think after 1, 2 and 3 we all kind of felt we had done it. And I think if they did it again now they would do it with a younger cast and just do a different realisation of it, which would be fun."
Woah. This is heavy.
Is this news:
a)The answer to 12 years of my girlish prayers
b)The most awful idea ever to be inflicted upon man kind.
I haven't decided yet.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Click my heels three times
Sorry I have been slouching in the update department. I have been spending all of my extra mental energy day dreaming about one thing... home. Home sweet lovely home. I have never wanted to go home so much in my life. Except maybe the time that I went away to church camp for 10 days because some of my friends and the boy I had a crush on (Daniel McCullough for those of you who are keeping track) were going. At the 27th chapel service, the girl beside me broke out in hysterical tears and threw herself on the ground asking to be taken up by God's mercy. I think maybe right then, at that moment, I wanted to go home more than I do right now. But other than that, right now takes the cake. The beautiful white sparkly snow that I waxed poetic about last week has become a pile of grimy slush that stands between me and the bus every morning, leaving me no choice but to curse like a sailor and watch as my leg sinks in up to my knee. The cold blustery weather that seemed so crisp and festive is now bitter and vindictive, as it blows harshly into my eyes like an evil glacouma tester, causing them to leak, thus washing off my concealer and my eye liner, which means that by the time I make it to the office in the morning I have soggy feet, a blurry blotched face and a sour disposition. Only one thing can fix this. I need my mommy.
Of course, when I am stuck in my office counting the minutes until my American Eagle pudddle jumper takes off on Thursday Dec 22nd, I start to remember what it was like way way way back (last year) when I was still in school:
Last Year: I would have been home already.
This Year: 10 more days of suffering.
Last Year: I could stuff my laundry in the car and take it home with me.
This Year: It is f-ing time to get quarters again because I need to do laundry before I can pack.
Last Year: One Month of Beautiful Time Off.
This Year: Almost One Week of Time Off.
But then again...
Last Year: I suffered through a few exams.
This Year: I suffered through a few weeks of LOST repeats.
Last Year: I pulled an all nighter to finish a thesis on youth voter participation.
This Year: I spent a full 20 minutes writing about the rising trend of skinny jeans and the possible perils of camel toe.
Which is better, I leave you to judge that.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to come up with 70 words about super-long scarves: are they the new pashmina?
Of course, when I am stuck in my office counting the minutes until my American Eagle pudddle jumper takes off on Thursday Dec 22nd, I start to remember what it was like way way way back (last year) when I was still in school:
Last Year: I would have been home already.
This Year: 10 more days of suffering.
Last Year: I could stuff my laundry in the car and take it home with me.
This Year: It is f-ing time to get quarters again because I need to do laundry before I can pack.
Last Year: One Month of Beautiful Time Off.
This Year: Almost One Week of Time Off.
But then again...
Last Year: I suffered through a few exams.
This Year: I suffered through a few weeks of LOST repeats.
Last Year: I pulled an all nighter to finish a thesis on youth voter participation.
This Year: I spent a full 20 minutes writing about the rising trend of skinny jeans and the possible perils of camel toe.
Which is better, I leave you to judge that.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to come up with 70 words about super-long scarves: are they the new pashmina?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
How rich can one person really be?
Ok, lets be honest, in my line of work you become a little jaded when it comes to ye ol price tag. Yes, everything in my closet is of the chain store variety (Banana Republic Sale Rack? H&M knock offs? Music to my ears), but oddly I don't even twitch an eyelash when I haul a $350 sparkly bolero jacket and a $500 pair of boots up to the counter of a snotty boutique and hand over my card. No, I am not a terrible coniving daddy's girl who is racking up millions of dollars and sky miles on her fathers credit card. I am handing over my business card. And with that, I walk out of the store with arms full of pricey designer merchandise.
Wait, before you start to hate me let me add that I have to bring back all that pricey designer merchandise a few days later and all I am left with is a byline and a loss of ciruculation in my hands and feet from having to walk around in the cold borrowing and returning stuff that I am afraid to even breathe on.
But no matter how warped my perspective on The Price You Pay for Goods and Services gets, there are always people out there trying to step it up and provide just a little bit "more" for their consumers. Their consumers who are, by the way, insanely disgustingly mind-warpingly rich. How else can you explain this: a luxury package provided to "elite customers" at the Peninsula Hotel in Chicago. Wrap your brain around this one guys and gals....
The Pen-Ultimate Peninsula Hotel Experience
Features:
Luxurious overnight accommodation for one night in the 3,600-square-foot Peninsula Suite, the most magnificent suite of all, featuring a formal living room, dining room, media room, study, 2000-square-foot private outdoor terrace with stunning views and a private Jacuzzi, master bedroom, private workout room and more
A Bentley Continental GT Coupe 2005 (to keep!) - valued at $ 169,000
Lavish welcome amenities, including the traditional aphrodisiac of oysters and champagne and five dozen red roses placed throughout the suite
Fully stocked bar
The services of a Peninsula Page as your personal valet throughout the stay
Graff beautiful cushion-cut white diamond ring for her, at over 5 carats - valued at $ 174,000
Graff platinum and invisible set white diamond square cufflinks for him, with nearly 8 carats - valued at $ 98,000
Relaxing, in-room couple's massage with special aromatherapy treatments provided by The Peninsula Spa
Choice of a five-course dinner for two in Avenues or The Lobby followed by ‘Chocolate at the Pen’ savouring an endless array of delectable chocolate desserts and an evening of dancing cheek-to-cheek to the Eric Remschneider Trio featuring vocalist Stephanie Browning
Ok, seriously, I feel fancy when they fold the end of the toilet paper into a point and provide actual glasses instead of plastic. Who are the people for whom this sort of "package" is feasible? I don't even think this would have been up Vince Vaughn's alley (the Peninsula is where he and Jen were seen straddling and smootching). Celebs dont get Bentleys from hotels. They get photographed looking at Bentleys and test driving Bentleys and sitting at Koi looking through a Bentley catalogue until Bentley calls them and asks if they would like one for free. That is the way celebs do it. So who the hell is buying this? Oh speaking of which... do you want to know how much it costs?
$400,000.
you want to know the worst part? after reading the description of the package as many times as I have and after writing this whole meandering blog... I am starting to look at that price tag and it isn't looking that bad to me. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN. I HAVE $4 IN MY PURSE RIGHT NOW AND IT IS MOSTLY IN NICKLES. I HATE THE NICKLE MORE THAN I HATE THE PENNY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NICKLES YOU HAVE TO PUT INTO THE VENDING MACHINE TO GET SOME BAKED LAYS!
Ok. I think I am feeling better now.
Wait, before you start to hate me let me add that I have to bring back all that pricey designer merchandise a few days later and all I am left with is a byline and a loss of ciruculation in my hands and feet from having to walk around in the cold borrowing and returning stuff that I am afraid to even breathe on.
But no matter how warped my perspective on The Price You Pay for Goods and Services gets, there are always people out there trying to step it up and provide just a little bit "more" for their consumers. Their consumers who are, by the way, insanely disgustingly mind-warpingly rich. How else can you explain this: a luxury package provided to "elite customers" at the Peninsula Hotel in Chicago. Wrap your brain around this one guys and gals....
The Pen-Ultimate Peninsula Hotel Experience
Features:
Luxurious overnight accommodation for one night in the 3,600-square-foot Peninsula Suite, the most magnificent suite of all, featuring a formal living room, dining room, media room, study, 2000-square-foot private outdoor terrace with stunning views and a private Jacuzzi, master bedroom, private workout room and more
A Bentley Continental GT Coupe 2005 (to keep!) - valued at $ 169,000
Lavish welcome amenities, including the traditional aphrodisiac of oysters and champagne and five dozen red roses placed throughout the suite
Fully stocked bar
The services of a Peninsula Page as your personal valet throughout the stay
Graff beautiful cushion-cut white diamond ring for her, at over 5 carats - valued at $ 174,000
Graff platinum and invisible set white diamond square cufflinks for him, with nearly 8 carats - valued at $ 98,000
Relaxing, in-room couple's massage with special aromatherapy treatments provided by The Peninsula Spa
Choice of a five-course dinner for two in Avenues or The Lobby followed by ‘Chocolate at the Pen’ savouring an endless array of delectable chocolate desserts and an evening of dancing cheek-to-cheek to the Eric Remschneider Trio featuring vocalist Stephanie Browning
Ok, seriously, I feel fancy when they fold the end of the toilet paper into a point and provide actual glasses instead of plastic. Who are the people for whom this sort of "package" is feasible? I don't even think this would have been up Vince Vaughn's alley (the Peninsula is where he and Jen were seen straddling and smootching). Celebs dont get Bentleys from hotels. They get photographed looking at Bentleys and test driving Bentleys and sitting at Koi looking through a Bentley catalogue until Bentley calls them and asks if they would like one for free. That is the way celebs do it. So who the hell is buying this? Oh speaking of which... do you want to know how much it costs?
$400,000.
you want to know the worst part? after reading the description of the package as many times as I have and after writing this whole meandering blog... I am starting to look at that price tag and it isn't looking that bad to me. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN. I HAVE $4 IN MY PURSE RIGHT NOW AND IT IS MOSTLY IN NICKLES. I HATE THE NICKLE MORE THAN I HATE THE PENNY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NICKLES YOU HAVE TO PUT INTO THE VENDING MACHINE TO GET SOME BAKED LAYS!
Ok. I think I am feeling better now.
Monday, December 05, 2005
It's beginning to look a lot like...
BIG NEWS! We have heat. Praise the almighty God. And the furnace guy. We have heat and it is fantastic. We also, as you can see from the pictures here, have a tree. My very first, on my own, big girl tree. The finished product of course, looks quite magical. The process by which the tree was procured.... not as magical. It was -8 degrees with the windchill yesterday. And this tree was chosen in a "close your eyes and point" sort of way from the nursery section at Home Depot. I would have taken more care in choosing the perfect tree to be my very first on my own big girl tree, but it was freaking freezing and I couldn't feel my toes. As it turned out, impending hypothermia makes me an excellent judge of trees because the one we got is perfect. We decorated it with a mix of thoughtful family ornaments and cheap thrills from Target. We also hung some jingle bell ornaments near the bottom to hopefully distract the kitten from hatching a plan to climb to the top of the tree and dive bomb off. We know our efforts might be in vain, but it is worth a shot. We might be in luck because he appears to be entirely consumed by the twine that we used to attach the tree to the top of our car. I think in his head he is a super hero. Spider man perhaps. That would explain his penchant for hooking his spidey claws into me and climbing from my ankle to my neck for no apparent reason. Perhaps I shall write him a theme song.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Jennsicle
So there I was, calmly getting dressed and putting on my makeup, batting away the persistent claws of my kitten who seems to be intrigued rather than frightened by the large hot curling iron at the end of the super fun swinging cord.
First of all, let me point out that normally this makeup and hair routine would be taking place in the bathroom where the kitten does not venture ( I think he is seriously afraid of the toliet.) But today and for the past three days I have spent as much time in the bedroom as is humanly possible. Why? Because that is where the space heater is. Once you step outside the temperature in our apartment drops, LITERALLY, 30-35 degrees. I. shit. you. not.
Last night, I came home, changed out of my work clothes and in to... wait for it.... long johns, fleece pajama bottoms, ski socks covered with knitted wool booties, a long sleeve t shirt, a fleece turtleneck, and a North Face zip up polar fleece. And that was just my "cooking dinner" outfit. Once it came time to sit on the couch with out the added benefit of the stove and oven to keep me warm, I added two blankets and a fuzzy hood to that ensemble. Considering that it is only December 1st and I have about five more months of winter ahead of me, I am thinking I am not off to the best start.
Granted, we have no heat right now. Why you ask? Oh well, we thought it was best to turn the heat off after our carbon monoxide alarm went off for the third time and started jumping up to something like 97 parts per million ( which sounds deadly, but as it turns out it would take 8 hours of that level of exposure to even give you a headache. Do you think this stopped me from writing out a "goodbye world" letter in my head before I went to bed? Not a chance. I was convinced that every time the kitten jumped off the bed it was because his body had succommed to poisoning and he was keeling over. "That didn't sound like a hop. That sounded like a thud. Check his pulse Joe check his PULSE!!!!!")
Don't worry, we are getting a new furnace. Supposedly we are getting it up and running "before the weekend". So you know, as long as the temperature doesn't keep dropping and as long as it doesn't snow or anything, I think we should be o- Wait. What's that you say? It's freaking SNOWING outside?
Yes, let me take you back to the beginning of the story, when I was removing the kitten broach from my shoulder so that I could put on mascara. Joe comes into the room and says "Is that what you are wearing?" (never wise words gentlemen). "Yeah, why?" "There is more than an inch of snow on the ground." I assume that the look on my face after that was a mix of shock, fear, dismay, and annoyance at the fact that I could now feel the draft coming from the living room as Joe didn't close the bed room door behind him when he came to deliver this news.
Now, the part that comes next, well. I think it is the most convincing evidence that I am really unprepared for the Chicago winter. I was a good girl and i changed out of my stiletto boots into my flat ones. I sacrificed my hard-earned curls and covered them with a hat, and I zipped up my puffy down jacket over my suede skirt. And then I stepped outside. And while Joe was trudging down the stairs headed towards his snow covered car, I just stood there. And then, although I am not sure anyone heard it, I squealed a little. Because you see, the first thought in my head when I saw the street covered in white was not "oh geez what a bother." or "goddammit i need to get the ice scraper" but rather it went something like this ... " Oooooo pretty!!!!!! What do you mean I have to go to work? Don't they cancel work when this happens? " Because you see, where I come from, they do. If there was an inch and a half of snow on the ground and it was still coming down, classes would be canceled, school children would be told to stay home and make snow angels, and working professionals would be glued to the 6am news waiting to see if their place of business had shut down for the day. Sigh, sometimes I just adore the south.
Anyway, you can see my cause for concern. The fact that I am still a dumbstruck 6 year old every time I see fluffy white snow means I am in for a rude RUDE awakening. I am sure it won't take long before I am cursing the snow or before I am outright indifferent toward it, but that will be a sad day for me. It's nice to know that some things, like a first snow, can still feel magical even when you are all grown up. But Chicago is about to kill that magic for me. I know he doesn't mean to. Just like my sister didnt mean to ruin the whole magic of santa claus thing for me by writing "merry christmas jennifer" on my brand new "lets play schoolhouse" blackboard on christmas morning in her very recognizible bubbly cursive. These things happen. But for today, just today, I am going to continue to think of snow as magical. Just one last time.
First of all, let me point out that normally this makeup and hair routine would be taking place in the bathroom where the kitten does not venture ( I think he is seriously afraid of the toliet.) But today and for the past three days I have spent as much time in the bedroom as is humanly possible. Why? Because that is where the space heater is. Once you step outside the temperature in our apartment drops, LITERALLY, 30-35 degrees. I. shit. you. not.
Last night, I came home, changed out of my work clothes and in to... wait for it.... long johns, fleece pajama bottoms, ski socks covered with knitted wool booties, a long sleeve t shirt, a fleece turtleneck, and a North Face zip up polar fleece. And that was just my "cooking dinner" outfit. Once it came time to sit on the couch with out the added benefit of the stove and oven to keep me warm, I added two blankets and a fuzzy hood to that ensemble. Considering that it is only December 1st and I have about five more months of winter ahead of me, I am thinking I am not off to the best start.
Granted, we have no heat right now. Why you ask? Oh well, we thought it was best to turn the heat off after our carbon monoxide alarm went off for the third time and started jumping up to something like 97 parts per million ( which sounds deadly, but as it turns out it would take 8 hours of that level of exposure to even give you a headache. Do you think this stopped me from writing out a "goodbye world" letter in my head before I went to bed? Not a chance. I was convinced that every time the kitten jumped off the bed it was because his body had succommed to poisoning and he was keeling over. "That didn't sound like a hop. That sounded like a thud. Check his pulse Joe check his PULSE!!!!!")
Don't worry, we are getting a new furnace. Supposedly we are getting it up and running "before the weekend". So you know, as long as the temperature doesn't keep dropping and as long as it doesn't snow or anything, I think we should be o- Wait. What's that you say? It's freaking SNOWING outside?
Yes, let me take you back to the beginning of the story, when I was removing the kitten broach from my shoulder so that I could put on mascara. Joe comes into the room and says "Is that what you are wearing?" (never wise words gentlemen). "Yeah, why?" "There is more than an inch of snow on the ground." I assume that the look on my face after that was a mix of shock, fear, dismay, and annoyance at the fact that I could now feel the draft coming from the living room as Joe didn't close the bed room door behind him when he came to deliver this news.
Now, the part that comes next, well. I think it is the most convincing evidence that I am really unprepared for the Chicago winter. I was a good girl and i changed out of my stiletto boots into my flat ones. I sacrificed my hard-earned curls and covered them with a hat, and I zipped up my puffy down jacket over my suede skirt. And then I stepped outside. And while Joe was trudging down the stairs headed towards his snow covered car, I just stood there. And then, although I am not sure anyone heard it, I squealed a little. Because you see, the first thought in my head when I saw the street covered in white was not "oh geez what a bother." or "goddammit i need to get the ice scraper" but rather it went something like this ... " Oooooo pretty!!!!!! What do you mean I have to go to work? Don't they cancel work when this happens? " Because you see, where I come from, they do. If there was an inch and a half of snow on the ground and it was still coming down, classes would be canceled, school children would be told to stay home and make snow angels, and working professionals would be glued to the 6am news waiting to see if their place of business had shut down for the day. Sigh, sometimes I just adore the south.
Anyway, you can see my cause for concern. The fact that I am still a dumbstruck 6 year old every time I see fluffy white snow means I am in for a rude RUDE awakening. I am sure it won't take long before I am cursing the snow or before I am outright indifferent toward it, but that will be a sad day for me. It's nice to know that some things, like a first snow, can still feel magical even when you are all grown up. But Chicago is about to kill that magic for me. I know he doesn't mean to. Just like my sister didnt mean to ruin the whole magic of santa claus thing for me by writing "merry christmas jennifer" on my brand new "lets play schoolhouse" blackboard on christmas morning in her very recognizible bubbly cursive. These things happen. But for today, just today, I am going to continue to think of snow as magical. Just one last time.
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